Capturing Feelings

When life gets a little too stressful and my mind goes into overdrive I often pick up my camera and go for a walk on the beach. The sound of the ocean, sand between my toes, and the smell of water, is like a magical highly potent recipe for finding quietness.

Overcome space, and all we have left is here. Overcome time, and all we have left is now.

~Richard Bach, “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”

Walking along the waterline and allowing the ocean to wash all my worries away. 

Late afternoon sparkles. Taken with LB Twist 60

Late afternoon sparkles. Taken with LB Twist 60

Once my mind calms down, the magic happens. I start seeing beauty everywhere. I love how taking photos with my Lensbaby lenses allows me to translate my inner peace of mind into my pictures. 

Redondo Beach, CA

Redondo Beach, CA

In the end. Only three things matter. How much you loved. How gently you lived. And how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.

~Richard Bach “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”

This post is part of the Lensbaby blog circle that I recently joined. In this blog circle a group of Lensbaby enthusiasts from all around the world comes together. Each months we will share a blog post of Lensbaby images. Each blog in the circle will end with a link to the next member. I hope you enjoyed seeing my pictures. Please continue your journey and head over to Martina's beautiful blog at Moerkrum I find it extremely inspiring and fascinating to see what other photographers do with their Lensbaby lenses. There can never be enough inspiration in our life as artists. 

Welcome to the world of Ute

How do you start your very first blog entry? I guess I'll do it with a warm welcome to you my friends! In my mind I'm sitting here with you while we drink coffee, and share our ideas about photography, life and love. 

Yellow Vase, one of my favorite cafés here in the area. Come and have a seat with me.

Yellow Vase, one of my favorite cafés here in the area. Come and have a seat with me.

It took me a very long time to allow me to look at myself as an artist. Too deeply engraved was the fear of being a meaningless starving nothing in this society. Even though it turned out that it is extremely hard to make money in art, I discovered another truth. A far more deeper and meaningful way of looking at things. 

When I received my very first camera at the age of 10 I was excited beyond description. For as long as I can remember I have loved to listen to stories. In my mind I was already seeing all the wonderful stories that I would now turn into photos. After receiving the first prints that feeling changed quickly into nothing but disappointment. Holding the pictures in my hands I couldn't find the story that my heart had seen. Instead my cheap little point and shoot had captured a brief moment in time from the worst possible angle. The little village celebration that I had tried to capture, looked like a population of ants size wise and the joy that we all had felt that day? Nothing, not a single trace of it in my pictures. Over the years I tried a lot to get better pictures. I got a new camera, a better lens, I traveled to new locations, I tried prettier objects, but nothing seemed to help. Eventually I even figured out how to use my camera in manual mode. And yes, my pictures now looked a little better. But still, I couldn't find my heart in it. Far worse, I wasn't even aware of what it was that I was missing. I felt so lost. 

But then something amazing happened. I attended ClickAway, my very first conference for photographers. Yes, you heard me right. Me, the amateur with the expensive camera at that conference. It was actually as intimidating as it sounds. The level of creativity and professionalism almost made go back home and burry my camera for good. The only reason I stayed was the fact that I couldn't get on another flight back home. So I hung in there until the very last night. And how lucky I was that I did. 

That night I made my very first photographer friend - Lucy. We clicked instantly and with her support I gained hope, eventually confidence and most importantly many more very talented friends. 

ClickAway 2015, San Antonio, TX, Lucy and I

ClickAway 2015, San Antonio, TX, Lucy and I

The bigger my circle of friends grew the more energetic I felt about my work. I realized that we are all in the same boat. All of us have very high standards. And with that, we set us up for a lot of disappointment but also for growth. Within this group I found the room to show my work. Even the stuff that wasn't good enough to be seen by  the public eye, that I felt embarrassed about. One of the biggest life lessons was to understand that all the mistakes, the wrong turns, the moments of disappointment were a vital part of my journey.

To gain confidence was the most important push in my journey as an artist. To be confident enough to show my true self in my work made me produce the work that I've always wanted. Pictures from my heart. 

ClickAway 2015 with    Anda    and Lucy. My kind of morning. Friends, coffee and beautiful light.

ClickAway 2015 with Anda and Lucy. My kind of morning. Friends, coffee and beautiful light.

So here I am. A lifetime of learning later, ready to tell you my stories. Enjoy!